Motherhood? Not quite.

I realized something very important tonight ... as much as I would like to be, I am SOOO not ready to be a mother just yet.

The conversation started in my Teaching Writing class, before the period actually began. A bunch of us were talking about kids and it somehow lead to cleaning up their throw up. I still call my mom to clean up my own puke so there is no way I am able/ready to clean up someone else's. Then I headed to church where I worked/played with the 2 and 3 year-olds tonight. I got myself into a kind of sticky situation. I both conquered and took a step backward in my (for lack of a better word) fear of taking kids to the bathroom. The first few were fine ... they knew what they were doing, but then I gave into the protests of the youngest of the children (whom I knew was still in diapers). I took him to the bathroom line, assuming that when his turn came, he wouldn't really have to go. Well, his turn did indeed come and there he stood, standing in front of the toilet, waiting for me to help him. What was worse was that he had to "poopy." Yeah.

I helped him out of his toddler jeans only to find the he didn't have to GO poopy, but in fact had already done so in his diaper which I dropped on the floor, not quite sure what to do with it. I set the little boy on the toilet and panicked. Fortunately, one of the other helpers who had a young brother in the class tonight came to check on me, as well as my best friend who watches kids on a regular basis.

"I don't know what to do!!!" I cried, without the tears. They took over and all I did was pick up the diaper off the floor and throw it immediately into the trash can. I barely could manage that. Later, the other little boy (whose sister came to my rescue in the bathroom) laid a poopy in his diaper too. It smelled worse than the other one ... I couldn't take it. I grabbed both trash bags and immediately took them to the dumpster. That is the extent of my handling dirty diapers, it seems.

So moral of the story, so not ready for motherhood quite yet (you know besides the whole not married or even in a romantic relationship and still in school side of the coin). It was an eye opening night and one that I think came just in time, before I got totally carried away in baby love with the cute little boys in the class ...

God knows me so well! =]