I'm at a point in my life where several of my friends are in serious relationships/getting engaged/getting married. I can't believe I'm this old already! haha.
Most of my life I've envied those of my friends who had boyfriends, gone out on dates and had guys that liked them. I felt like most of my time was spent either trying to get a guy to like me or trying to get myself to stop liking him.
Nowadays, I'm doing my best to just avoid either action. Believe me, I am definitely similar to probably 99% of the female population when I say that yes, I would love to be in a relationship right now; however, I differ when I say that I'm not really going to do anything about it, even if I like a particular guy.
Each and every day I have to remind myself that when God's timing is right then he will bring the right guy into my life in the right way. Despite my new attitude on the subject I still find myself thinking way too much about it and sometimes even venturing down the road of trying too hard, but at least I'm attempting to change.
Sometime (I'm not sure when exactly) between the end of my freshman year of college and now I decided to be serious about God taking over this part of my life. He should be in control of my entire life, not just parts. So I made a promise, if you will. Basically I told God, and still do on a regular basis that I'm through with screwing up this area of my life (believe me, I've had more than a few mess ups). If his plan includes me having a boyfriend, getting married, etc., then I want it to be His way or no way. I'm through with trying to be in control. Again, it's a daily reminder kind of thing, but I'm trying.
Sometimes I'm afraid that if I choose the wrong guy one more time, my heart will never go back together again, which is just one of the reasons why I'm through with trying it my way. Fortunately, I don't think I'm too late; God can still take this area that I've royally screwed up and turn it around for good. I just have to trust Him and wait on His timing.
Despite all of this, I definitely DO rejoice with all of my friends who have reason to celebrate! I see God working in their lives and am happy that they are following His path for them so faithfully! =]
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