I watched the mid season finale of Covert Affairs last night and the last scene was a fairly adorable one involving a guy and a girl starting a relationship and kissing. The scene lingered with me for the rest of the evening and even into today. I would catch myself thinking about how cute it was or replaying it and thinking "someday."
But really, that will probably never be a real 'someday.'
As women we often look to or create these fantasy scenarios in our brains for how relationships should be, how guys should look or act, what the perfect kiss will be or when. We often just call this daydreaming, but in reality it may in fact be harming us and our future or current relationships.
I'm going to be honest here: I don't know how the rest of the world thinks of pornography, but here is my opinion.
Pornography is harmful to not only the people who watch it, but also the relationships those people are in, will be in and have been in. Pornography is a huge issue and most certainly a leading cause in the immorality and impurity of our nation.
Now, that being said, women (and I am most certainly included in this), these fantasies we linger on and create I truly believe are our own form of pornography. They can have similar effects: they produce unrealistic expectations for you and your partner and ultimately leave you empty and hurting. Now, I'm not saying that it's exactly the same. For men, it is more of a visual or physical thing, or so I am told, but for women, it's emotional. We want to be that girl, feel that way, have that man's arms around us to be loved like that. We want that scenario. We set such high expectations that cannot be reached that we never get that emotional high.
So, now what do we do? Stop watching chick flicks? Turn off the TV, stop reading books, put down the magazines? Well, maybe, for a little if that's what we need to do to get our minds back, but it doesn't have to be forever. What I'm saying is we have to be mindful. How much play time are we giving this stuff? Are we simply watching a movie or reading a book or are we living through the characters on the screen and in the pages? Think about it.
This is more for myself than anyone else. If anyone else can benefit as well, then it is an added bonus.
